The slaughter house!

The lambs for slaughter are arranged in a neat row, waiting outside the slaughter room and are eagerly awaiting their turn to be slain thinking it might be the next best thing to happen to them! They occasionally bleat in excitement and are repeatedly told to shut up so as maintain the ambience for slaughter!

Inside the interview board’s room;

Wolf 1(interviewer 1): Where’s the next set. Slurp! Bring them in fast. I can’t wait to devour them. Slurp!
W 2: Ah! Kerala University! This is going to be fun!

Lambs are brought in and not even given the chance of regular courtesies as they are made to sit in 3 adjoining chairs facing the board in a room which is the executive suite of a 4-star hotel!

W1: 0o0o0o0 B.tech Biotech students! Intelligent lot you guys ought to be! (Sarcasm at its peak)
Lamb 1: Err.. Gee
W2: (Menacingly).So let’s start with the basics of immunology.

(Lamb2 instantly remembered UKG* as she was the only one in the batch who wanted to opt for that elective and had to give up the fight for immunology due to lack of public support)

W2: I’ll ask the question and give you the answers too. *evil grin*
L2: Then wtf are we here for! Yes sir. *smiles*
W2: You just have to tell me if it is true! What kinds of interactions signify the XYZ bonding? Is it A, B, C or D. Tell me!
L2: Definitely C. not sure of the rest.
W1: 0o0o0. Hear hear! Is it not A?
L2: err..maybe..
W1: ooh 10 points to u(sarcastically of coz)!

W2: *eyes gleaming* we have hit the jackpot! They don’t know the subject so let’s ask only that!

W1: so tell me more about the immune system. Blah blah blah?
L1, L2, L3 give knowing glances of incomprehension.

L3 wasn’t actually visible to me because of a relatively hot guy in the interview board sitting next to her. So obviously you know where the visual priority lies! And I thought he was a young smart guy among the group of wolves until…

After deriving heart full of sadistic pleasure at having asked the A to Z of immunology,

W3: So, what exactly are you comfortable with?
L1, L2, L3 unanimously: My project!

W3 exchanging knowing glances with the rest: Now we know what NOT to ask!
W2: oh! So you are saying we should ask questions from that only eh! Not done kiddos!

W1: what’s your project?
L3: says something.
W1: yawn!

L1: sequencing of the mouse histones.
W2: Oh! Now let’s talk about PCR. Blah blahs

L1: attempts at answering them but is met by more sarcasm and evil grins

W2: (at L2)What do you know about it?
L2: Just basic theoretical knowledge sir. I haven’t done that project sir. Mine is…
W2: So tell me what are the PCR procedures
L2: :|annai get a hearing aid! Tries her best to recollect some theory about PCR.

W2: to L1,L3: do you agree with what she said.
L1,L3: yes sir.
Some more blah blah about pcr. Again clueless looks and happy board!

W1 to L2: Now what was your project?
L2: peptide antibiotics sir. We synthesized…

W1 cutting in: Oh so how do you suppose it would be useful?*smirking*

L2: confidently starts explaining
W1: (looks at W2) look at her nerve. She’s explaining to us!!!

W2: seems we are done. (To supposed hot guy) you may ask something if you want
W4: ohk. So you people were talking about PCR
L2: you think we were?Nice! Yes sir *smiles*
W4: so you know Kerry Mullis invented it (showing off!). Now, what if it wasn’t invented? How would you go about amplifying DNA without PCR?
L1, L2, L3: Is this the final nail in the coffin or is there more coming? Get a life dude! We have the PCR now! Why bother about the what ifs!

L3: We do the steps individually!
L2: we accomplish heating using water baths!?!
L1: ahem!

W4: good. I couldn't have heard worse answers! Now, let me prepare the killer question for the next set! *evil grin*

W2: How long were your project kids?
L1: one month sir.
Collective sighs!

W1: what can you do in one month? Collect samples? Ha ha ha!
L2: that’s all we have in our course sir!
W2: No no. You can’t do that. Tell them to change the course and accommodate the other subjects in the 7th sem!

L2: Yea right! We know how much we struggle with 6 subjects! And you want 6 more added to it! And yes am so sure that the KU people had been waiting all these years for that one word of dislike from your part. They’ll surely pass an order the very next day to change the whole course structure! *Sad smile* yes sir we should!

W1: that will be all. You people should read more!
L2: Of course we will read ‘how to save face while being slaughtered’ the next time we appear before you. But well, you think we will? I don’t!

L1, L2, L3 find their way out in a neat file and are fed a 4-star meal to keep them healthy in case they decide on coming a second time!

*UKG: UK Gal akku will henceforth be referred to as ukg!