Dream 2 reality!

Dreams are fascinating phenomena. At times I feel it connects itself to reality by some invisible thread of instances. They just seem to link at the most unexpected or odd moments. I usually forget what I dream about. Few days, I delay waking up in the morning so that I could complete the dream but end up forgetting it all the same. Then at some odd time in future.. may be years later it pops up..just like that! This has happened more than once so I am forced to believe there is a connection.

Four years back, I had joined a one month course at CDAC just because I was totally bored at home and had a month long time to spare. I made friends there and we used to have coffee from the coffee machine which was in an alleyway. First time I went for coffee, I simply knew I’d been there before. The same place, the same atmosphere, only difference being it had been a strange place when I saw it 1st in my dream!

Then there was this church I used to see repeatedly in my dreams and never remembered until I saw the very same church with its big cemetery on the Pettah road. I instantly knew I had seen it numerous times in my dreams and I told mummy that may be I was buried somewhere deep down in there in my previous birth. :D

Another unexpected happening was when I was working for that 1 week. One day, I had some problem with the computer and the system administrator asked me something about it. The moment I answered the question I knew it was a repeat from one of my dreams:|. Unbelievably strange isn’t it!

All these make me wonder if there really is a connection or are these just random fabrications of my mind. If it is the latter, I definitely stretch my imagination too far!

But there are other dreams which I remember in parts. There was this highly adventurous one involving RGV’s ‘Kaun’ style settings where few of us were entrapped in a ‘purani haveli’ and murderers/ kidnappers were lurking all around. The escape was ‘home alone’ style :D. Then there was another one last week in which I saw lion cubs in our ‘tharavaadu’s thozhuthu’ at native place replacing the cows and a panda- tiger hybrid animal attacking me:|. I hope that kind never find links in real life!!

the detour

Back after a week long vacation (if you could call it that) at Bangalore. The first time I visited the city was about 6 years back. Then, I had viewed the city with the eager eyes of a little girl and I sat amazed at the huge buildings, busy people and the bustle all around. Also, I had liked seeing trees on either side of the road wherever I went. That one fact still filled me with joy because I thought at least they aren’t rooting up existing trees on the roadside like in Trivandrum. But this time I got a more realistic view maybe because I could be critical in my outlook now. The city is a polluted mess and I found the air too heavy to breathe. It has more people than it can accommodate and is suffering under the strain. The roads are like an unending maze, you turn a corner and you are lost! For a person who gets lost frequently even in Trivandrum, I found the roads of Bangalore to be too intricate.

The city also seems like it has had a massive alien invasion. The aliens in this case being fellow Indians from all parts of the country especially the southern end variety! I wonder how the natives put up with so many others sharing space with them. If I were to see too many non-malayalis here, I would definitely feel odd simply because I am used to hearing Malayalam around or my ears are tuned to hearing nothing else.

Enough of my critical thinking. I believe too much of thinking puts extra burden on the brain and is to be avoided on all costs so that the brain is relaxed and content to give a better perception! Yea right! So ill keep it strictly to facts! The first two days, I gave a nightmare time to my uncle and aunt with a fever running high and long wait for me wherever I went. Then aunt and I were on a shopping spree. I would say I was just the passive observer because we were hopping from shop to shop all over town and I was subject to valuable advice on household crockery, oil bottles, bed and pillow covers and the like :|. It was truly a learning experience and by the end of it she was so exhausted probably with my lack of knowledge on such intriguing subjects that she asked me to bring mom along the next time I visit. Even I thought that was a great idea! But she did know some great shops (by which I mean economic) and I could get some shopping done :D.

Next day, I was to meet Jo and have a stay-over at her place after 12 long years! Aunt took me some place where we met Jo and they shook hands and aunt handed me over to her :D. She took charge of me and we went to her place where we talked on and on sitting in the balcony overlooking the huge and beautiful campus of CPRI. That reminded me of the lovely past of ours when we were bubbly kids endlessly mischievous but at our best behavior when we wanted. We caught up with all the gossip about schoolmates, current lives and much more and it was fun as before. Moreover, I got to taste aunty’s sambhar after a long time! She was talking about how we, as kids used to make elaborate plans of ending up in the same college and being hostel-mates when one among our trio left. Sigh! Lost days! (I am gona write another post on that!)

I assured Jo I’ll find my way back to my uncle’s place the next day but she was apprehensive about it. So she accompanied me all the way back even with a presentation on the same day. I am glad she did coz I am sure I would’ve lost my way otherwise :D. She left me few yards beyond uncle’s place and I went into another apartment with the same name even though it did not resemble the one I left the day before. May be they had repainted it or given it a new look while I was away..you never know! :D. Finally, I somehow reached the correct apartment and started packing. The bus was in the evening and I wasn’t looking forward to another bus ride as the way to Bangalore was too tiring and hectic. Either due to fear of another such journey or the polluted air of Bangalore, I had an attack of breathlessness (second symptom of swine flu in 4 days time :D). It was followed by a violent bout of cough and cold and the lady sitting next to me in the bus was yelling at me for not using a mask. She promptly took out hers and didn’t even turn to my side for a long time after which she asked me to get medicines. Given a chance, she would’ve happily thrown me out! However, I was feeling much better somewhere after the Kerala border (the illness was completely psychological I tell you). I felt really delighted to be back home and I realized the sad fact that however much I convince myself that I never get homesick, I do, especially when am sick! Cough syrup, vintage wine and a dose of antibiotics later, I am back in full senses and ready to begin the search for ‘direction’. I confess, I am lost even in life! :D

The brief stint with 'IT'

IT had always been a fascinating proposition thanks to the high life status it conferred, until the vicious phenomenon of recession hit it head-on. When I was adamant on biotech after my schooling, there was a collective sigh of relief only when I opted for engineering in the same because that meant I could at least have the ‘moving on to s/w field’ as an option if I ended up with nothing else. That was the period when hot shot MNC’s used to recruit the whole lot of final year engineering students irrespective of which trade they were in. So, getting into a decent engineering college was a safe future with a solid job and hefty pay assured. As luck could have it, the tables turned when our batch reached the placement phase. The era of ‘even the chaiwala might get through easily’ was over. The first company to grace the campus was infy and I tried my luck too. At the interview, I proclaimed my undying love for biotech much to the chagrin of the interviewer and it ended up on a sour note. The outcome was obvious but I still had the disappointment of belonging to the mere handful that did not clear the infy interview! As it happened to be my 1^st ever interview, I was disheartened.

However, didn’t have to go through similar experiences much because not many companies came to college after that. Elaborate plans for the future were made many of which were followed up and many ended ‘in the pipeline’. None reached completion! So the time frame of the plans shifted a year ahead and the gap was to be filled by something constructive. Idleness created lethargy and I was off on a road-trip in the country-side. That made me rejuvenated and alive. Not wanting to continue with the idleness I accompanied Raks for a recruitment being held at a nearby college. Surprise surprise!! I cleared that and was offered a position as s/w engineering trainee!!! All I felt was ‘cool, I cleared an interview in life’. A great morale booster I tell you. They wanted us new recruits to join in 2 days! I couldn’t run away from decision this once. Had to take an immediate one and the few whose advice I consider, told me to join as it was nearby even though the pay wasn’t commendable. So off I went, confused as ever not too thrilled about being employed. Rather intimidated I would say. 1^st day saw me in a cabin with a pack of wolves (read guys). I was the only gal in my side of the cabin along with other fresh freshers and not so fresh ones. I thought ‘oh well..too cool..have something to make my fellow vainokis jealous of’. I was proved wrong. I got fed up of guys too soon. They were all very co-operative and helpful. And they were even considerate that I might feel odd being with them so they made me as comfortable as possible including me in their conversations, helping me with the task of studying Greek and Latin and every other possible way. But still I started missing female company. No, it wasn’t my sudden swing of inclination but just the lack of mushy gossipy conversation which in my opinion cannot always be shared with the opposite sex.

Thankfully, before the full impact of the situation hit me, there was a change of cabins and I was in the company of giggly gals. A wave of respite that was! All this while, I was making a massive effort to master Greek which seemed to come on par with Croatian. And it hurt my ego to ask someone to help all the time and I refused to accept that I didn’t even know stuff others considered ‘puttu’. The gal sitting next to me cleared all my doubts with a smile which made me think that I must be asking really dumb doubts. It took me long to realize that I couldn’t have had a more accommodating gal near me. I still thought maybe a little more of mingling with everyone would make a difference and when I get comfortable in my new niche of friends, it would pilot a better performance. But, I somehow couldn’t talk when I was with everyone. All of them had joined earlier and knew each other by then. I felt like an outsider intruding into their conversations and masti. There was another girl who tried to include me in the gang and I used to go out for tea with them even if I didn’t even want tea. I just thought I’d utilize the opportunity to get that sense of belonging. Tough luck! Dragged through few more days feeling totally miserable about my poor social skills and more about my horrendous attempt at being a programmer. I totally hated what I was doing and I counted hours, minutes, and seconds all the time. I even spent half the time thinking of reasons why I shouldn’t be there! I kept getting better in the task and could think of numerous good ones :D.

And then it was the fateful weekend. Friday had me on the edge. I was getting more at ease with my colleagues but I still couldn’t cope with all the Croatian I was subjected to all day long. The gal next to me was turning out to be an angel helping me out with even little errors which I was impatient to work out myself. I knew I was taking undue advantage of her. That just had to stop! The very thought of the long weekend ahead was tempting. One of my colleagues was going off to a better company and she gave us all an ice-cream treat. All fun done with and goodbyes later, I was eager to embrace the days of freedom from the codes! The decision was made in my heart. I had to leave the place rather than give in to something I contemptuously forced myself to do every day for 8 hours straight! The following Monday had me bidding my goodbyes and contritely informing the admin that I had to leave as I had secured admission for higher studies. They asked me about the details and wished me luck with a smile. I was expecting an acerbic session but was surprisingly spared. The admin was so very understanding and even the other interns asked me whether it was because I couldn’t adjust. They were all so eagerly offering to help. I felt bad that I hadn’t got to know them better in the few days there. They would definitely have made good friends. But I am glad I decided to leave early else I would’ve completely lost the face of me I liked.

All together, I am glad I went to this particular office with its fabulous work environment which did not pressurize you on anything but at the same time inculcated a good work culture and am grateful to its absolutely obliging group of seniors and interns who were ever so nice. I haven’t worked anywhere else to make a comparison but I am sure this is the ideal place to start off for anyone looking for a career in the s/w field. Hope they don’t make the mistake of recruiting any more of shaky feet like me. This was indeed a chapter of my life worth remembering as an adventure I enrolled in once upon a time :).